funny how it may seems,
when you see things coming your way,
but it is exactly the opposite,
doing nothing other than bringing you down,
crushing the hopes and dreams that were made.
funny how it may seems,
just a moment ago,
life is nothing but trash,
but if you put it in the past,
thee soul shall come to rest.
I'm devastated..
I'm in need for a cure..
seriously...
i just don't know why..
maybe depression runs in my blood..
or it's just me hallucinating..
with thousands of worries..
doubting the life i live..
confused with all the love i have..
used by the trust i gave..
I'm in need for a cure..
and i hope to be settle by others..
before I'm done by myself..
so yesterday.. i went out to midvalley with hafis, dja and apiq.
reached midv. around 11.15am and met up with hafis 1st, then waited the other 15 mins for Dja to show up. so that's when the party begins!!!! hehehhe well.. not much actually, cept bought tickets for a movie and had our lunch at mcD.
that's where hafis showed us our own web page for our future business plans. And that is where we had a small stupid fight with him choosing which menu he should ate. in the end, the three of us shared all the 3 menus. we got three coupons which reads two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce ("something-something') on the sesame seeds bun... if we get two sing it under 4 seconds we'll get a big mac 4 free.
funny huh? i think he will try to get that at his place. =P
while having our lunch, syahmi, me old bestfwen came along to join.. just for a while before he went off to shop for his 'gadgets' and 'games'.
so.. after the not-so-good-but-it's-ok-movie-4-me, we meet up with my sweetheart at the tropicana life store, which he had said to meet up after the movie. he went to sepang in the morning with his brother-in-law to catch one of the best festivals in the country. when boys meets cars... you do know what will happen, don't you?
so yeah.. after that, went to the care4 to buy things but end up doing nothing but fool around with apiq while waiting for dja and hafis to get their things.. then we went to search for starbucks but end up not going in cuz it's full with tourist and families.... in the end.. we settle down in secret recipe....
bought a slice of choc cheesecake cake, a brownie and a plate of lagsania.... where the 4 of us dig in. funny thing is.. just found out he doesn't like cheesecakes. hehehe and the funny faces he made... it's priceless for me =P
so, by the end of the day, we split in two cuz, dja and hafis took up the train to seremban while me, apiq and syahmi took the train to kl central where we change our train to pel. klang. funnny thing is, apiq went to B.bintang to get a comic book he dearly wanted but forgotten to gve me the cds he promised me. so i waited for like almost 1 hour at the subang ktm station with syahmi... poor guy but it's a good thing he understands why... huhuhu sorry dude..
so after taking the cd, took a ride home with syahmi and had very loong nice talks with him.. it's been such a long time since we talk. n i missed those days. he'll be flying to russia in june so hope to meet him as freq. as i can cuz.. well.. i see him as a big brother. we've been together almost for 2 years back in school days and still going on strong =>
so yeah.. reached home b4 my dad does 15 minutes earlier... huhuhu something to be grateful about... guess that's all 4 my blog today =3
yeah yeah.. I'm a really active blogger okaY? you don't have to tell me.. huhuhuhu
right now I'm in my holidays for two months straight... and i find myself not knowing what to do... think i'm going to start looking for part time jobs at my brother's place since mcdonalds don't offer part times for people like me anymore.. plus.. i left the pants back at the college.. so yeah.. hahahahaha..
I'll probably be heading out to KL after Dja's arrival and 2days before her appointment in HUKM. We'll be painting at the KLCC's park.. or just run and hide at BTS in a bookstore reading manga.. =P well it depends on the weather and in hope it rains... ops.. hehehhe yeah blame me for loving manga so much than painting.
Then probably, a week after that if everything is planned well and i don't get a job... I"ll be heading to Terengganu for camping with Tieya, Haffis and Dja and with some of Haffis's friends. but i think i won't be joining them cuz i desperately need money for next semester... huhuhuhuh RM350 for 3 days and 2 nights in P.Redang... damn...
okay... then i will probably overnight at Dja's place for 2 nights just to bake cakes with her... to be honest.. i missed those days when i baked cakes with mum. we usually baked together along with my brothers but eversince i left for boarding school, it just died down.. so sad.. boohoo... well.. i guess that's the start where i careless about my family.. i think...being away and all...
huhuhuhu... life just sucks so bad for me actually. hopeless with my family, hopeless in study (back at highschool).. guess i only have the T0m0Dachi's to support me to go on with life. I am forever grateful with this family and i hope we will go on strong till death do us all apart..
love you all... Dja, Fizste, Apiq, Tieya.
sounds as if i'm writing a death wish.... funny huh?... hurm..okay.. guess that's for today.... i hope.. unless another rampage of angst came up again... i'll be posting another... =P
Like Casting a magic,
making these two persons meet,
not realizing each others feelings,
till their hands are a top on each other,
and suddenly they fell in love,
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
you are the only one i wanted to embrace...
till now, unable to say it,
kept hiding it,
held up a strong act, that's all
so please see this through..
Please wait until our meeting
Afterwards, just maybe we'll be in love again
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
I want to cry
When you gently let go of our hands
i became restless and worried.. so..
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
cuz you are the only one i wanted to embrace....
MMMMMMMMMM
Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream
Cinderella theme
Crazy as it seems
Always knew that deep inside that there would come that day
But I would have to wait
Make so many mistakes
I couldn't comprehend
As I watched it unfold
This classic story told I left it in the cold
Walking through an open door that led me back to you
Each one unlocking more of the truth
I finally stopped tripping on my youth
I finally got lost inside of you
I finally know that I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul
[chorus]
Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally
MMMMMMMM
I remember the beginning you already knew
I acted like a fool
Just trying to be cool
Fronting like it didn't matter
I just ran away
And on another phase
Was lost in my own space
Found what its like to hurt selfishly
Scared to give of me
Afraid to just believe
I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place
Stumbled through the mess that I have made
Finally got out of my own way
I've Finally started living for today
I finally know that I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul
[chorus]
Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have a our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Gave my love to him
Finally
MMMMMMMM
Finally,
Finally
Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something beautiful is happening, happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally
Ohhhhhhh,
Finally, Finally, finally
life is just not that brilliant,
but we pretend as if it was,
so don't come and barge into my life,
or talk sh8t behind my back,
or even have the urge to bring me down,
with words or acts,
or even with the fake smile you put up.
leave or die,
or go bother your muhtafuk'g friends...
okay B!tches?
lolololololololololololoolololololololol...
with lots of F'kg love...
me.
totAlly c0nfused with my life ryte now
is trying to move on but sumthing told me to hold on
wanted to find new things but restricted to one,
trying t0 forget but it stayed in th3 heart,
knowing it was taken but wanted to take it too,
heart had gone cold, but keep bleeding for more,
pondering what i'm doing is right.. or is it wrong..?
am i playing with my heart?
or am i playing thee?
or am i the one who had been fooled?
why do i ask for more..?
god help me...
i am lost in within...
.....love you..
i closed my eyes,
i see you right beside me,
held out my arm,
and you took it with love.
let your heart calm,
so that i could smile,
close your eyes,
if you miss me..
i closed my eyes
and i see you there right beside me,
whispers of love from you,
sow the love within me.
fill yourself with happiness,
so that i can stay smiling,
close your eyes,
and i will be there right beside you.
for you my love,
i gave my love,
that won't ever fade,
and forever will it stay alive within me.
fill yourself with happiness,
the moment that i smile.
close your eyes,
if you miss me,
my promise to you,
and i will stay by your side....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ku pejamkan mata
Kau hadir di sisi
Ku hulurkan tangan
Kau sambut dengan kasih
Tenangkanlah hatimu
Agar bisa ku senyum
Pejamkanlah matamu
Jika rindukan wajahku
Ku pejamkan mata
Kau hadir di sisi
Bisik mesra darimu
Menyemai kasihku
Bahagiakan dirimu
Agar bisa kusenyum
Pejamkanlah matamu
Ku pasti di sisi
Untuk dikau kasih
Ku curahkan cinta suci
Yang tak mungkin terpadam
Akan terus membara
Bahagiakan dirimu
Di saatku tersenyum
Pejamkanlah mata
Jika rindukan wajahku
Janji ku kepadamu
Aku pasti di sisi
death,
is fear..
death
is here..
death
is everywhere..
death
came over..
death
is near..
death
left out agony and pain..
death
is alive..
death
had arise..
it killed my soul
left alone a lifeless beating heart,
closes all the doors around me,
blinding me in the dark,
left me,
left me,
left me.. all alone...
alone,
alone......
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